The Wonderful Tiers of Friendship

So I have this friend. I won't name him because, knowing him, he would be so embarrassed that I am putting his business out here on these internet streets... and I don't want to do that to him.

But I do want to talk about him.

Actually, I want to talk about our friendship.

It's one of those friendships that's just grown slowly over time. No big dramatic moments, no trauma bonding, no constant texting. Just... consistent.

Easy.

It's actually really lovely, really.

And something happened this morning that made me think, this is going on the blog.

He sent me a voice note, completely out of the blue, saying he was listening to the previous message I'd sent, and in the message, he said that it just hit him how lucky he feels to have a friend like me.

And then he said, "Love you."

Now, I say I love you to my friends. More recently, I have experienced too much loss, and it has made me realise that I never want my friends to know how I feel about them.

So when he said he loved me, it really was, well kinda a moment.

Mainly, because I remember a couple of years ago, when I first started telling him that I loved him. Well, I could see how much it threw him. His whole body would flinch. Not in a rude way, just... like the words were too much for him to hold.

I always knew he felt it, but it was almost like he couldn't say it back. And I didn't push it. Because, quite honestly, I didn't need him to say it back.

But I knew.

And now here we are. He says it easily. And what's wild is watching this friendship evolve in real-time.

Like, I can see it happening.

And it genuinely warms my heart.

Because I think it's rare. That kind of shift. That kind of growth. Not just me being open, but him meeting me in that space as well.

Him trusting me.

And us building something that feels even more solid than before.

Our friendship is not about being in touch every day or having some dramatic emotional bond.

It's just... richer now.

More grounded. And I don't know, it's made me realise how special that is.

Some friendships stay at a certain level. Surface-level maybe. Or fun-level.

And that's fine.

You laugh, go out, share memes, playlists, and drink wine.

And there is nothing wrong with that. I love those friendships, too.

But there's this other kind of friendship. Where something shifts. Where you risk a bit more. Say a bit more. And the other person doesn't run or change the subject or make a joke to deflect.

They stay.

They show up.

Maybe slowly, maybe clumsily, but they still show up.

And it's not better, necessarily. But it is different. It's like you get access to a quieter, softer space in the friendship. Where it's not about performance or activity, it's just about being.

And trust.

That's what this friendship feels like.

And I think what' shitfing for me today, and why I wanted to write this blog, is because just how grateful I feel to be in a friendship like that.

One that's evolving. One that's deepening. One where I can feel the shift happening, not in hindsight, but right now. In real time.

It's just really lovely.